A Swing and A Miss

I had a first date, the first in quite some time. The hopes were so high…

From a positive standpoint:

• Punctual.

• Tall and active.

• Has activities, and a life in general.

• Seems well travelled.

From a negative standpoint:

• Lacking personal style.

• Not a food person.

• Not assertive in asking for my number or a follow up.

Overall, it was an OK date. It didn’t feel like a waste of my time, and really that’s all I want in a first date, but it just didn’t end with any follow up. Let’s start from the beginning.

He did get points for asking me out. He asked when I was free during the weekend for a day drink or coffee. Two big positives in my book, but then I had to choose the location. Which really isn’t that big of a deal, and I can make it convenient for me, but later on I asked what his favorite type of food was or restaurant to check out and he didn’t really have an answer. His answer was that he likes to go on dates to find new places. That’s all well and good, but since I picked the first place, and he made that comment my thought went to “I will always be tasked with planning the dates”. And if you remember from my guidelines, I need a planner.

Let me tell you why I need a planner, or at least a planner in the beginning. It’s because I am the planner in life. I plan all my friend activities; I plan my work events. I simply want to not have to do the work all the time and that lack of initiative is a red flag for me.

The conversation was fairly fluid. We were both asking questions and providing answers, so there wasn’t much dead air which is always nice. However, the end was a bit abrupt. I had to leave for an appointment and ended it with “I had a good time”. I did not ask for his number, because again, as mentioned in my guidelines, I need someone assertive. If he had asked for my number, I would have given it to him. But he did not so there will not be a date 2.

Which honestly, is ok because what really was the icing on the cake for me was the wardrobe. Let’s be clear, I am the queen of comfy casual. I wore linen shorts and a tank. But I still looked put together. The kid showed up in work out gear and honeslty I think he came straight from a class. Which I know shouldn’t bother me, but personal style and being put together is a big deal for me. It also shows me if I am a priority. And yes, my gosh I know I sound needy… it’s only a first date after all, but first impressions are everything. There’s a way to do athleisure in a sophisticated way, unfortunately this was not it.

For me the meh rating came down to three things: 1) alluding to not being a planner, 2) messy work out wear, and 3) simply not being assertive and asking for my number.

Alright, date number one under the belt. Let’s get back to the drawing board to get another first date lined up. LOL