January Blues

And why I always feel like I’m not doing enough in January

Surprise surprise, back with another one off. I’ve been mulling a lot about my 2025 goals and reflecting on what I accomplished in 2024. While doing this I’ve created this sense of anxiety and general feeling of not doing enough, not being successful enough, in general just not being where I should be.

As I’ve questioned why I feel this way, I remembered this is not a unique feeling. In fact, I think I get like this every January. So the question for myself is why?

I’ve always followed my own path. I’ve never cared much for trends and I really don’t care about traditional societal pressure. However, it is tough sometimes to not have traditional norms impact your thoughts.

I very much don’t care about status, what my job title is, if I’m in a relationship. Those things don’t fulfill me. But around this time every year, when I’m making goals for myself I start to question why my goals aren’t bigger. Am I not driven enough? Why are my goals not to be conventionally successful? This all leads to unwanted and unnecessary anxiety.

What I want to achieve in life; financially, familial-y, in my job and personal life, are my decisions to make. What I find fulfilling and rewarding, may not be conventional or what other people want out of life, but it’s my life and it’s what I want. I just need to focus on my goals and honestly just enjoy my life and all will be well. Also, maybe stop making goals for myself, but that’s definitely not going to happen. I’m too type A for that.